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Norman Hsu: A Man Of Many Puns

Democratic fundraiser Norman Hsu, a fugitive until this week, has been the subject of unrelenting torture by pun in the blogosphere for the past several days.

Ed Morrissey at Captain's Quarters has been the most prolific Hsu punster, treating his readers to "Hsu On The Other Foot", "Hillary Not Hsu Happy", and "Steady Eddie And A Boy Named Sue."

Don Surber also played off the Johnny Cash song "A Boy Named Sue" and even wrote lyrics for it. He skillfully managed to squeeze a Larry Craig reference into the song:

Hillary dropped me like I was a blue dress
The Democrats made my life one big mess
I shook like a leaf or Larry Craig’s shoe.
In jail I think about how I just cannot win
But if I ever have a son, I think I’m gonna name him
Bill or George!
Anything but Hsu!
I still hate that name!

You can find more Hsu-related lyrics over at Old War Dogs, this time under the title "Shoo, Hsu, Baby":

You've seen him in Shanghai and Beijing too,
And now he's wearin' the Demos’ blue,
Hil had a tear in the corner of her eye,
As he said his last goodbye.

Musical Hsu puns actually have been quite popular. Dinocrat chose "Runaround Hsu," and Instapundit Glenn Reynolds opted for "Hsu-fly, don't bother me." Reynolds also offered this thought after Hsu's capture: "I wonder if they've got him on Hsuicide watch."

Shoe puns are a hit, too. From Townhall: "Waiting For The Next Hsu To Drop." And TPMCafe went for the headline "When The Other Hsu Drops" (with a link to "Hsu Done It" over at TPM Election Central).

VarvBlog blogged about Hsu's troubles under "The Hsu Fits," and The Powers That Be opted for "This Hsu Is Made For Runnin'"

Here are other Hsu puns I found in a blog search after realizing the trend:
-- Three Sources: "Hsu Fly Pie"
-- Southern Ledger: "Hsu's On First"
-- Forward Movement: "Democrats Hit By Hsu-nami"
-- The Latest Word: "So Hsu Me!"
-- Gather: "More Hsu-nanigans"

-- Tusk & Talon: "Deja Hsu"
-- TigerHawk: "Stomach Hsu"
-- Grammaticus: "Hsu Two"
-- Small Dead Animals: "Hillary Hears A Hsu"

-- A Blog For All: "Hsu's Money Is It?"
-- EPluribus Media: "Who's Hsu?"
-- Attytood: "Hsu Are You?"
-- The Belmont Club: "Hsu Goes There?"

UPDATE: Don Surber has more Hsu puns to share. He added one in the comments and sent me this one via e-mail about my entry: "You Hsu did a good job." Anyone else, or does that just about Hsu it up? Sorry, I couldn't resist.

UPDATE II: Michelle Malkin has been very punny when it comes to Hsu. She was one of the early users of "Hsu, fly, don't bother me" and noted his "Hsu-rrender!" late last month.

One of her readers also penned lyrics to "Runaround Hsu". Here's a taste:
Here’s my story, sad but true

It’s about a guy that I once knew
He [took my] money, then ran around
Giving money to every dem in townAh, I should have known it from the very start
This guy will leave me with a broken heart
Now listen people what I’m telling you
A-keep away from-a Runaround Hsu

Posted by Danny | 12:42 PM

Comments

Thanks for the link. You did a helluva job. You have the biggest collection of Hsus this side of Imelda Marcos

Don Surber | 09.08.07 09:36 PM

It's More Hsu Pork.

fustian | 09.09.07 09:12 AM

aaAAA-HSU!!! God Bless You!

KSM | 09.09.07 10:00 AM

In the Movie, Get Short, one actor (Gene Hackman) tells another (John Travalota): Where do you get these names? JT is telling GH about mob names from Miami, and it is a hillarious scence. I think of this scene as I read names like Winkle Paw.

I am also puzzled as to why a guy with a degree in computer science from Berkeley (which is very hard to get into especially in their CS dept.) got into clothing business.

Was the money laundering involved in his UG fees at Berkeley? Who paid for his UPenn MBA education? Has anyone contacted his wife (they are now divorced)?

These are some questions to pursue on this HillRaiser.

Clintons Are Funny | 09.09.07 10:22 AM

You forgot,

Oh, Hsusanna, oh don't you cry for me,
I'm going to Colorado with a barf bag on my knee.

showbiz | 09.09.07 10:23 AM

Loved it! If I were you, though, I'd be wary. Some pun control advocate is likely to Hsu you for pun-itive damages.

Mike | 09.09.07 11:10 AM

Was he traveling under a Hsu-donym?

Jim Treacher | 09.09.07 11:45 AM

I'm a little slow. I've been working over lyrics to "Da Hsu-Ran-Ran-Ran" to the tune of this song. I'll let you know when it's done.

Random Numbers | 09.09.07 11:51 AM

The Who, or rather The Hsu, I think sang it best: "Hsu are you, hsu, hsu, hsu, hsu/ I really want to know/...".

e.cliff | 09.09.07 12:20 PM

The big Hsu (apologies to Ed Sullivan).

clyde | 09.09.07 12:35 PM

Oh, and TalkLeft is trying some Hsubterfuge.

Jim Treacher | 09.09.07 12:50 PM

It's a veritable Hsu store around here. Women must be loving this story.

MagicalPat | 09.09.07 01:19 PM

In fact, when they discover the money did come from the Chinese, will we see a mini series called:

The Red Hsu Diaries?

MagicalPat | 09.09.07 01:21 PM

Oh, come on people. Have a little respect. He is afterall on Hsu-icide watch.

MichelleO | 09.09.07 03:15 PM

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